The Big Trip (the night before)

I'm getting nervous. Space travel is not easy. It's the same as when Snow White had to leave Indiana to move to the Hundred Acre Woods. It's a crazy sort of weird experience. Take-off is not that far away. Last night, I had a dream about my take-off. I was commander of the shuttle and I had my crew set and ready to go. We were set. Ryan Seacrest was the announcer of the space launch. According to Seacrest, it was the perfect launch. Anyways, back to reality. As excited as I am, leaving is going to be extremely difficult. I have so many good friends here on earth. I dropped by earlier to say goodbye to everyone. It's crazy how fast the time goes. Just yesterday I was a human and tomorrow I will be an alien. It feels like I am headed into the future. Not exactly,but kind of like the time in Back to the Future where they went back to the future. Crazy huh how that happens. It is going to be hard to leave, but I'll be back. I have to go to space. She is kind of an anomaly. The study of geography is very complex. Well, I have to go to sleep now. Tomorrow is a big day. I need to lower my eyebrows because when they are up my eyes are open. Wish me luck. I am going to start counting sheep...1 male, 2 female, 3 male, 4 female...

The Big Trip

Today was another big day for me. I was going somewhere most had never gone before. Its crazy how all of this began. I will start from the beginning. First of all, I was listening to the radio and I heard there was a contest going on. I meant this felt like the perfect opportunity for me. I mean I'm pretty smart. I'm almost always half right. I had never called the radio station before, but this was my chance. The announcer asked the question,

"Who wrote Blessing Your Husband?"

I was super excited. I had read this book before because a friend told me it was a good read. I called in and I was so excited I got claustrophobic in my mouth, but I managed to answer the question.

"Correct!", the announcer yelled.

Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh. I can't believe I won. I was so excited I thought I lost my phone, but it was on my face. My face was so red, I could not tell the difference between my shirt and my face. I had no idea what I had won. The announcer says,

"you just won a trip into outer space!"

Wow, what a prize! This was so cool. I mean how many people get to go into outer space and study geography. I knew, I just knew I was going to have the time of my life. I was going into space! I am kind of worried about the kind of person I'll be in space. I know that I am a different person when I am in the mountains compared to when I am at sea level. I get way more oxygen to the brain when I am at sea level. Now here I am, just minutes away from taking off. What more could I ask for? I knew that answering that question was destiny. The shuttle takes off. I am on my way to space. Now I get to put my study of geography into real life.

The Champion...Almost.

I wake up with a fury in my eyes. Greatness. I have something to accomplish. I have a championship to achieve. I will not walk away empty-handed. The day is slowly creeping by. Why won't it get here any faster? As I sit in my cubicle, I cannot concentrate. There are so many things on my mind. The names that will be there. The last champion will be involved in these games. They are all good, but I believe that I have the most desire. I want this. This belongs to me. It is now 10 o'clock. I sit in my cubicle and begin to practice. As I practice I keep taking myself out. Sometimes I think I may be too good for myself. Am I really this good? Only time will tell. It is now noon. Time to get lunch before I head to the match. I eat in haste. Everyone is here. There she is, the five time champion, and there is the guy that won three in a row, and there is also the guy who has one many of the other matches. I am beginning to get butterflies. NO! I have to concentrate. I can't get distracted. It is time to begin. Everyone gathers around the table and crosses arms. One over the other under. We sit there for a minute arms crossed over under, over, under, till we form a circle. It is time for the last champion to start the match. I will go left, he says. He pounds his hand on the table and it has begun. One tap, one tap, DOUBLE TAP!(reverse). It keeps on going but finally, the first hand is out. It goes again. Hand by hand start diappearing. I am still in...both hands even. Wait, I lose on one, but I still have one hand in. I am getting nervous. Now there are only three of us! I am nervous and excited - never have I been this far in my entire career. I am the first to go out of the final three, but I have accomplished so much. My game has reached a whole new level. I can hang with the best of the best. I will be the champion one day. I only have a few days till the next match, but I'm ready...OH am I ready.

Beagles are better than Chihuahuas...they have more meat.

I love dogs. I've always told myself dogs are what humans wish they could be. Its so great to have a creature that can love you unconditionally and follow you anywhere you go. Man's best friend. I sometimes reminisce on Where the Red Fern Grows. How great and humble those pets were, unlike bunnies. Speaking of bunnies, I used to know a guy who would chase bunnies, but that's neither here nor there. Let's get back to the loyalty of dogs,, nothing is greater. It often make me cry when I think of any type of dogs. Its like I said, it reminds me of Where the Red Fern Grows. The loyalty of the dogs to one another and to their owner. The way the dog dies of a broken heart...its going to make me cry just thinking about it...I can't talk about it anymore. Anyways, on brighter news...OH MY GOSH!!! I did not just see that! What has this world come to! I will never be the same again! It's one thing to eat rabbit, cows, and pigs, but dogs...What kind of girl would just eat a dog, a Beagle at that...well i guess it is better than a chihuahua...more meat.

"What light through yonder window breaks..."

I prepared wholeheartedly for what could be the greatest accomplishment in my life to date. I...yes I...I had the lead role in the musical that would change the world. As I sat there humming in my head and then in my gut, I prepared for the part that would launch my career.
First, a slow meditation out by the duck pond. How else was I to get into character? It started to rain, the ducks began to clamor. Oh what glorious sounds! I knew that I could do this. There was nothing standing in my way. My dream of becoming a Broadway star was only hours away!
The day was here! I dressed to match my character, cleared my head, I was ready to take the stage. The show was about to begin. I stood in the dark knowing the moment had arrived, silence, the curtains lifts...
It is finished. The show is over. I am sweating. I played the the part to perfection. The audience stands up in amazement at my performance. My mother with tears in her eyes says, "You were the best ugly duckling to ever hit the stage!" Silence. I cry. Success.

Complexities of Technology

What oh what shall I eat? Is there anything fast and easy. I'm filled with hunger. Tuna? Nah. Macaroni and Cheese? Takes too long. Peanut butter and jelly? Requires effort. Spaghetti O's!!! What more could a guy ask for. The perfect portion. What wonderful creator conjured up this great invention. Microwaveable. Easy. I found my next meal. But wait? Oh no! It is sealed up in a can. How ever shall I reach the wonderful meal inside. Can opener! As I search for a can opener I see there is only one available...AN ELECTRIC CAN OPENER!!! I stared at the machine; It stared back. We locked our gaze on each other knowing what was to come. I took a step forward...and then two steps back. I knew, I just knew, I couldn't give up. So I walked up to it, gripped its handle, and stuck the can under. It was refusing to take the can. I couldn't not force it to take the can. With all my efforts I tried one last time, but to no avail. I couldn't give up that easy, so again we head to battle. I looked under the machine, it grips it, I may have finally won...but no the machine drops the can. I am too hungry. I am getting weak. I have no choice but to retreat. As I walk away eating my tuna sandwich, I grip it tighter and stare back at the machine..." I will come back, you may have won the battle, but I will win this war!"

Life is but a dream...

Last night as I dozed off to sleep, I found myself in a wonderful world of greatness. I sucame to the temptations of a Chipotle burrito. Oh, but the horror was I didn't have enough hot sauce. How was this wonderful creation in front of me going to satisfy my hunger without the hot sauce?!?! I looked everywhere, but the hot sauce was nowhere to be found. As I sat there contemplating my next move I could feel my tongue yearning for this piece of art. I could feel it slide down my t-h-r-o-a-g-h-t into my stomach to satisfy the hunger I had for this burrito (it was not just any burrito but a Chipotle burrito). As i grew weary and sad, I began to wonder if living without the hot sauce was worth it. YES!!! Its a Chipotle burrito for goodness sake. As I went in to take a bite, the wonderful aroma teasing me...And now I lay in my bed no smell, no burrito, only darkness and disappointment.

On the next episode of Life is but a dream...Ryan Seacrest joins the scene.